Bob Reccord believes that after God has invited you to a personal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, He then calls you to a personal mission alongside Him to impact your world. The questions listed here focus on maximizing your marriage and are excerpted  (with permission) from Beneath the Surface by Bob Reccord, a book designed to guide you in guarding your heart and steering clear of the dangers that could leave you, and your family, shipwrecked.   

A. Husbands, ask your wives:

  1. Do you know that I truly love you, and do I make it obvious? If not, what can I do to improve that?
  2. Do you feel that I express my love to you enough in front of the children so there’s no question in their mind of my love for you? If not, how can I improve it?
  3. Am I treating you as the most important person on earth to me? What could increase that feeling in you?
  4. I promised to cherish you. Do you feel that way, and what could I do to strengthen that?
  5. What is your greatest concern about our family, and have you felt free to express it to me? If you’ve expressed it, have I listened?
  6. Do you feel that I’m helping you fulfill your God-given potential? How can I improve that?
  7. Am I doing anything that would ever lead you to be tempted to compromise in any area? If so, what could I do to change?
  8. Would you tell me your most significant dreams about the future?

B. Wives, ask your husbands:

  1. Am I doing enough to make you feel adequate in our relationship and assuring you that I see you that way?
  2. I know it’s important for you to feel honoured and affirmed. Do I make you feel that way, and what can I do to improve?
  3. How can I help you best succeed at your work as you provide for the needs of our family?
  4. Do you feel that I know and understand what your greatest dreams are for the future?
  5. What could I do better to support your leadership in our family?
  6. Am I doing anything that would ever lead you to be tempted to compromise in any area? If so, what could I do to change?

C. Together, discuss the following:

  1. How do you feel we’re doing in expressing our own personal faith as a living reality in front of our kids?
  2. Are we sometimes allowing our children to play one of us against the other, and if so, what adjustments do we need to make to avoid that?
  3. Are we praying for our children’s future and for the mates God is preparing for them?
  4. Do our children understand that our marriage relationship is the priority in our family?
  5. How are we each doing individually and together as a couple on building our spiritual lives?
  6. Is the atmosphere of our home one that is filled with joy and expectation? If not, what adjustments need to be made?
  7. What are we doing to make sure that we are growing together, as opposed to growing apart?

Bob Reccord serves as executive director for Council for National Policy, an organization focused on America’s founding principles and based in Washington DC. He is also president of Total Life Impact Ministries, a speaking/teaching ministry designed to help you make your life count. For information about Bob Reccord’s speaking ministry or to obtain this or other resources by Bob, visit or

© Bob Reccord. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources below.

Our recommended resources

Join our newsletter

Advice for every stage of life delivered straight to your inbox