FocusOnTheFamily

His, hers or ours?

Written by Crown Financial Ministries

In a marriage, there is no “my money” and “your money” or “my debts” and “your debts.” There is only our money and our debts.

A couple cannot be one if they separate their lives by separating their finances.

God will bring a couple closer if, from the very beginning, they establish God’s Word as their financial guide and then follow those principles.

Ours, not mine

A marriage is not a 50/50 relationship, as many people think. It is a 95/5 relationship on both sides.

Each must be willing to yield 95 per cent of their rights to their spouses. If they are not willing to do that, it will not work.

No viable marriage can survive a “his or her” relationship for long, because it is totally contrary to God’s plan.

Couples should avoid having separate financial anything, including chequing accounts, because when they develop a his money/her money philosophy, it usually leads to a him-versus-her mentality.

Unwillingness to join all assets and bank accounts after marriage is perhaps a danger signal that unresolved trust issues could still be lingering or developing in the relationship.

Budgeting

Budgeting can be difficult, if not impossible, when spouses do not agree on basic money management principles. Therefore, they should make all budgeting decisions together.

They also need to agree to hold each other accountable for meeting their financial goals and devise a plan for regular evaluation of how well they are succeeding.

The couple should come to an agreement on the amount of money that can be spent without first checking with each other. The specific amount will depend on the budget category and the couple’s particular circumstances. “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

Bookkeeping

Practically speaking, only one person should keep the books.

Even though one person primarily handles balancing the chequebook, both should be fully trained and able to do it.

There is nothing wrong with the wife handling the finances in the family if she is the better administrator, but God still holds the husband accountable for the ultimate decisions.

When there is an impasse, the wife must yield to her husband and allow the Lord to work it out. As they work together, encouraging one another, God will show them His favour and grace.

Nevertheless, being responsible as the leader does not mean the husband is a dictator; the couple should discuss and agree on financial management.

Both spouses should be involved in paying the monthly bills. Doing so will keep both fully aware of their financial status.

Conclusion

Within a marriage relationship, the husband and wife are partners who are dedicated to one another.

A bond of uncompromising devotion creates a healthy atmosphere for togetherness: studying God’s Word, praying and even managing money.

Just as it takes two to make a marriage successful, it takes two to establish a clear line of communication in financial planning.

Crown Financial Ministries' vision is to equip people worldwide to learn, apply, and teach God’s financial principles so they may know Christ more intimately, be free to serve Him, and help fund the Great Commission. Learn more at Crown.org*

*Referrals to websites not produced by Focus on the Family Canada are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites’ content.

Posted with permission from Crown Financial Ministries.

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