Are you helping or enabling?
Written by Candy Arrington
Some tweens have a problem being responsible for their belongings.
Tara was halfway to her appointment when her cellphone rang. It was her son Miles.
“Mom, I forgot my lunch.”
“Miles! This is the third time this week.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Can you bring it?”
A trip by the school would make her late for her appointment, but if she waited until afterward, Miles’ lunch break would be over.
“OK, I’ll come, but you’ve got to do better.”
Miles did not feel the responsibility of his actions, but his mother did. When parents complete their children’s tasks, children grow to expect someone else to handle their problems and often blame others for their own hardships. In order to stop enabling tweens to make poor choices, parents should allow their children to feel the consequences of their decisions and then guide them through the situation to become better decision-makers.
From Focus on Your Child’s Tween Ages, May 2008. Published by Focus on the Family*. © 2008 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission. *U.S.A.
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