FocusOnTheFamily

Home is where the heart is

Written by Ann-Margaret Hovspian

By the time my mother was 35, she had emigrated to a new country, had been married for a decade and was raising two children in a mortgage-free home while helping my father run a growing business.

Me? My life circumstances have found me, at age 35, still living in my parents’ home.

I’ve had one serious relationship. I make a modest income as a writer. And I value my parents’ opinion, solicited or not, on most things. I talk with them – and about them – a lot. Not only do I love my parents, I actually like them! We’ve been able to maintain harmony and have found a wonderful balance of interdependence in our home, allowing room for mutual respect and encouragement.

My life is somewhat typical for young women from Mediterranean cultures, but I also know other women who remain close to their families. And it’s not just a “free ride,” by any means! We have jobs, help with household responsibilities, and pursue various interests . . . in what is, for us, the “traditional” context of family.

Since this lifestyle is natural to me, it surprises me when people ask: “Don’t you think you should be a little more independent? Shouldn’t you get out and live on your own and think for yourself and experience the world and meet more people and do what you want to do in life?”

In my generation, it feels like most people believe that single adults shouldn’t need their parents. Many young unmarried women I’ve met feel pressured to move out. Sure, being out on your own has its perks, but why leave a happy and enriching environment if it’s only to prove you’re self-sufficient?

My parents always provided what I needed but didn’t spoil me with everything I wanted. They didn’t force me to get a university degree but they taught me about hard work, money management, taking care of a home and serving God. They gave me wings without kicking me out of the nest.

Don’t get me wrong; we have our moments, just like any family! But my close relationship with my parents provides a template for fellowship with my Christian brothers and sisters and, possibly, my connection with my future husband.

Regardless of age or stage of life, I don’t think children should ever stop needing their families. And families should never stop needing their children.

Freelancer and author Ann-Margret Hovsepian lives with her parents in Montreal, Quebec.

© 2007 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.

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