FocusOnTheFamily

Growing up, not apart

Written by Amanda Smith Regier

Last spring, in a fit of age-induced insanity, my father took the entire family skydiving to mark his 60th birthday. From the ledge of a plane, I watched my sister and her fiancé freefall from 14,000 feet.

On the ground, we laughed, recounted our experiences, and I hugged my sister for the first time in years. We all agree that the day tops our lists of favourite family memories.

As we get older, those occasions are fewer and farther between. Careers and families demand our time, and coordinating schedules can feel like an ordeal. That said, you don’t have to jump out of a plane to reconnect with your adult siblings!

It may require some effort, but the rewards of maintaining sibling relationships are profound. It helps to plan well in advance, and don’t be afraid to take initiative. Stumped at where to start? Here are some ideas:

1. Coordinate vacations. Be it a simple camping trip or that big European tour, adventures bring you closer together. This is the stuff that stands out from your childhood together – there’s no reason it can’t make a mark on your adulthood as well.
2. Get wired. If the fear of astronomical phone bills is the one thing standing between you and your missionary brother, connect online. Download a program that lets you talk from computer to computer. If you’re willing to invest a bit more time, start a blog. Reading and seeing photos of your siblings can make thousands of miles seem like no distance at all. (Try skype.com and blogger.com*.)
3. Have a monthly potluck. Christmas dinner isn’t the only excuse to share a meal. Pull out your favourite family staples – try to replicate your mom’s quiche or grandma’s lasagna. Make the night memorable by showing childhood slides or home movies.
4. Start with the basics. It’s easy to drift apart as you grow older, but even if you haven’t connected in years, you are still blessed with the same memories – no one else recalls those living room dance routines or the day you lost a childhood pet. Something as simple as a coffee date might be just the way to reconnect.

*Website references do not constitute blanket endorsement or complete agreement by Focus on the Family Canada.

Amanda Smith Regier and her husband Dean split their time between Vancouver, B.C., and Aberdeen, Scotland.

© 2007 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.

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