FocusOnTheFamily

No sweeter thing

Written by Susan Schreer Davis

Tears dripped into my bowl of cookie dough. I kept stirring, uncaring. Dark chocolate chips slowly blended with the thick mixture and my tears. I longed for a touch of sweetness to soothe my inner ache. Instead, hopeless thoughts filled my mind.

More than five years had passed since my husband’s death. My role as mom to two preteen boys filled my days, but I didn’t feel whole. Instead of taking form, my life felt like a mound of unbaked goop.

Oh, God, I can’t see past the brokenness I feel inside.

How much more?

Although I wanted to sing or sell a song, pursuing my musical passions only drained my finances. So I got an insurance license, but soon discovered my new job would demand much more time than I had been told. Curled in a ball on my lap one evening, my son innocently said, “I’d rather us be poor and you at home, Mommy.” But bills demanded I keep the job.

A week later, while reaching for a fork at lunch, a jabbing pain shot through my thumb and first finger. With consistent laptop use, persistent discomfort slowly crept from my wrist to my elbow and eventually all the way to my shoulder. When my laptop was stolen, I had to do extra computer work that only exacerbated the pain.

My entire arm ached. I couldn’t hold a pen to write. Only a month into my new career, the undiagnosed problem forced me to take time off for therapy. As a tan brace cradled my thumb and wrist, I was burdened with concern and doubt about my future.

A walk to remember

One night as I baked cookies for my son’s class, the questions and frustration grew stronger.

God, I’m overwhelmed. Nothing comes easy. I don’t know how to go on.

At that moment, my son came into the kitchen. “What are you doing, Mom?” Nathan asked.

“Baking cookies,” I mumbled as I wiped the tears away.

“Why are you crying?”

“You know Mom – she cries when she hurts,” I said. “And she’s hurting today.”

He left the room after I spoke, leaving me with my loneliness. I openly wept. I need You, Lord. I want to embrace my life with a good attitude. Please help me.

While cookies baked, I wiped counters and rinsed measuring cups. Nathan and Sam scurried around the corner, interrupting my cleaning.

“Come on, Mom!” they said. “We have a surprise for you.”

I dried my hands and let my little men lead the way. Halfway up the stairs, I saw a picture my sons drew just for me. Under the words “A Walk With God!” stood two stick figures side by side. One, surrounded by a glow of yellow, was labeled “Teacher.” Several more messages, carefully placed throughout the hallway, spoke messages of love and acceptance: “Thank you lots,” “You’re loved by us!” I smiled. It was just the comfort I needed.

Then I saw a message taped to the ceiling: “You’re wonderful.” Sammy proudly explained, “I couldn’t reach the ceiling with the picture when I stood on Nathan’s back, so I let him stand on mine.” Crouched on all fours, my eight-year-old son had supported the weight of his older brother.

Tears fell again. My boys had followed their hearts and brought healing to my own. I hugged them, the sweetest things in the messy dough of my life.

Thank You, God, for the blessings You share right here in my home.

The oven timer rang, and we headed downstairs to savor freshly baked cookies before bed.

The love of my family

It has been two years since that night my boys poured love into my ailing heart. My life is still taking form, and my arm is still healing, but I’m no longer selling insurance. Twenty voice and piano students fill my afternoons. A completed CD of original songs opened opportunities for me to sing and tell my story to others.

God has answered so many of my prayers. And He has shown me that there is no sweeter thing than walking through daily life with a loving family – and a loving God – by my side.

Susan Schreer Davis lives with her boys and new husband in Georgia

© 2008 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

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