If you were to look back on your wedding day right now, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Do you think about how much money could have gone toward investing in a house rather than in a venue? Or the drama of your wedding party? What about your first kiss as husband and wife? Or the wave of relief you felt as you walked back up the aisle together?
There might be something important missing from your nostalgic look back on your big day – your vows. If you had to, right now, would you be able to stand with your spouse and repeat them word for word?
The answer is probably no.
Question: I’m in the middle of a serious disagreement with my spouse about giving and tithing. Personally, I’m comfortable giving to the church and charitable causes when we have enough money to spare, but I don’t see any reason to get legalistic about it, and I certainly don’t believe we should place our own family at financial risk. My spouse, on the other hand, takes a "hard line" view of tithing. In fact, she even insists that the tithe is just a "starting point" – that dedicated Christians should make it their goal to give more than ten percent! What do you think?
Look at your ceiling. Now look at your wife. Now back to your ceiling. Now back to your wife.
What’s on your wife’s face? It’s a scowl.
Why? Because while you were busy looking at your ceiling, your eyes were rolling back into your head. And while they were rolling, your wife was reading your nonverbal communication loud and clear. It said, You, wife, exasperate me.
“I think when people first get married, it’s a natural process to turn towards each other and tune out the rest of life,” says Pam*, who’s been married seven years. “But,” she continues, “it’s also a natural thing to start looking outward again once you’ve had some time together.”
Picture this scene: A couple is out for dinner. Their faces are deadpan; their voices are silent; their heads are down. They’re looking at their phones.
Now imagine the same couple out for dinner. Their faces are smiling; their phones are silent; their heads are up as they look into each other’s eyes. Their phones are nowhere to be seen.
It’s fairly obvious which one of the above situations is preferable.
And while it’s easy to let out a sigh when you spot the virtually distracted couple, it’s also easy to overlook the potential for technology to help you connect as a couple.