I have always felt very blessed that my experience growing up in a pastor’s family was positive – full of Christian friends and community. One instance comes to mind as a time when I felt especially accepted and loved by a couple from our church.

I was in grade seven when I first noticed my dad drinking and hiding this from my family. I was in grade nine when my immediate family first discussed this with Dad and with each other – and used the word “alcoholic.” As with most families that struggle with this disease, we did not share this with any other friends or family. Because my dad was a pastor, it felt even more secretive; it felt heavy and dark.

My dad is one of the most intelligent and gifted people I know. His relationship-wisdom is unlike anything I have seen. He has always led growing, successful congregations, and preached and shared Christ’s Gospel. I believe his struggle with alcoholism was partly due to stresses from the church – rapid growth and a diverse congregation.

When I was in grade eleven, my parents decided to discuss Dad’s alcoholism with two long-time members from our church. This was the first time it was discussed outside our family. I felt much fear and anxiety about this. Part of me wondered if they would react judgmentally, or if they would want my dad to resign. They came to our home, and we met in our living room.

I don’t remember many details of the conversation. I think I found my own fears and feelings all-consuming. What I do remember is the immediate love and acceptance they showered upon us. They asked how they could help, and what they could pray for. There was no condemnation, only love and concern.

I am so grateful for this couple. Looking back now, if they had responded with judgment, I wonder if I would have been turned away from the church forever. I am grateful that they treated my “pastor’s family” like they would any other family – a family which is made of real people and real struggles. Through them, I learned that the Christian church has grace for all people.

Yes, this story has a happy ending. My dad has been sober for almost a decade now, and he preaches openly about this struggle. Our church is full of grace and compassion. Dad’s struggles have given him even greater humility and compassion for those in the congregation. I thank God for the loving people He places in our journeys, and I thank God for His unending mercy.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV).