For a lot of people, the first thing that comes to mind when they think pastor’s kid is rebellion. Even I have a skewed view of what a pastor’s kid looks like, and I AM one. You hear so many stories about some who turn from the Lord and some who go wild experimenting in college with all the things they were forbidden to do (drugs, alcohol, relationships, etc.). So why is it that the world (or the church) makes such a big deal about the decisions that pastors’ kids make, about the lives they decide to live? Why, of all people, are we placed in the scrutinizing spotlight?

As much as it’s a hard light to be under, it’s also a great opportunity to live a life that can be an example to others. I have to say that growing up in the church definitely had its ups and downs. People seemed to enjoy putting expectations on me. I was the “PASTOR’S KID” . . . I, of all kids, should know better and should be the one setting an example.

I think that most people expect the pastor’s family to be the perfect Christian family because if they can’t be perfect, there isn’t hope for anyone else. But you know what? Pastors’ families are normal. PKs are normal kids. For some reason, they get put on a pedestal – people think they are exempt from sin, heartache, temptations and frustrations. They’re not. We’re not. Just like any other kid, we disobey. We secretly stay up past our bedtime. We chew gum in our beds. Having a dad as a pastor does not make me perfect, and it definitely doesn’t mean that I can do whatever I want and be exempt from the consequences. I am still accountable, just like anyone else.

One thing I observed growing up was that the more my dad sought to follow God’s leading, the more the enemy tried to beat our family down. It’s so important when you are in ministry to anticipate the enemy trying to stop you from making a difference. It’s important to put on the armour of God and be prepared to fight. It’s not an easy position to be in, and there will be tough times, but knowing that God is right there fighting along with us makes it all worthwhile.

I truly believe there is a calling on our lives. We have the opportunity to see how the church really works, including all the ins and outs and everything behind the scenes. We have the opportunity to step up and be that example people so desperately need. But instead of showing them the “perfect life,” we show them the REAL us. We show them our struggles. We show them our heartaches. We show them our weaknesses. And in doing so, we show them God’s grace.

Laura Eby grew up on the mission field and is a pastor's daughter. She is currently working towards a degree in psychology and would love to one day work with troubled teens.