One night, as a teenage girl, I prayed a very specific prayer for my future. I’d been a pastor’s kid since birth, reared to be a “blameless” example of godly virtue among my peers – and the undefeated “Sword Drill” champion in Sunday school. So what, you may ask, was the request of my earnest little PK heart that night? I prayed that I would never marry a pastor.

Ministry life involved sacrifices and challenges that, frankly, I had grown tired of. I wanted to let God know that I hoped to live out my adulthood in a reasonably stress-free environment, with a normal husband and normal kids, thank you very much.

The reason this particular prayer stands out in my memory is simple. I now have two little PK girls of my own and am, of course, a pastor’s wife. How this happened, I’m still not sure. I guess I would have been smart to look for a non-“clergically-inclined" husband someplace other than Bible college.

At any rate, I can now say that I have spent nearly my whole life as part of a pastor’s family. And by now, I’ve formed a few ideas about what my little PKs (and yours) need to make ministry life a positive experience.

1. First place in line – Even if we don’t bring ministry home, it may still follow us. My dad once received a 3 a.m. call from a church member requesting prayer for insomnia! We need to guard our home-lives as much as possible and let our kids know they’re our highest calling. After all, parenting is the one ministry that can only be performed by two people on earth – everything else is a group effort.
   
   
2. Someone to talk to – Ministry life can be stressful and isolating for kids. Pastors’ kids need a safe place to express their feelings without fear of burdening their parents or damaging their family’s reputation. Every pastor’s kid should have a confidante or mentor outside the congregation whom their parents trust – but who will not report back everything they hear.
   
   
3. Their own ministry – Spotlights and sacrifices come with the territory for pastors’ kids. But it’s important that our kids have opportunities to minister on their own terms, too. Let them sponsor a child, volunteer for a charity or find their own ways to serve out of love, not obligation.
   
   
4. Good Sunday morning memories – It’s easy for Sunday mornings to become a frenzied circus act. My mother taught me to make Sundays smoother by taking time Saturday evening to prepare. We can lay out clothes, shower, set an early bedtime and pray together.
   
   
5. A family safety net – This one’s tough but vital. If ministry life is putting too much strain on our family, we need to be willing and able to step out for a while and support ourselves another way. If we helped hundreds of people but let our family fall apart, do you think God would smile? Me neither.

My daughters are still small, and so far, ministry life doesn’t seem to have affected them much. My hope is that they’ll feel safe within it as they grow up. And if, like me, they someday find themselves committed to spending their adult life in ministry, maybe they’ll be happy to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.