CCN recently interviewed a pastor who is “in between” churches. He shared what this experience has been like for himself and his family . . .

What led you to the conclusion that it was time to leave your last church?

The church had declined in numbers and I felt that a major change of direction, facilitated by a change of leadership, was needed. Both the church and I were in a rut and in need of being shaken out of our comfortable complacency. I did not believe that the church would be sufficiently motivated to make the changes necessary as long as the status quo was a comfortable option for them.

Could you briefly describe what leaving there was like for you, your family and for the church?

There was no apparent animosity but rather a sense of consensus that I needed to leave. I had gone to the church with the notion of staying until I died. Now I believed that leaving was the right thing to do, but in my heart I felt like I had not finished the task that had been given to me. There was a sense of loss of family and friends, of disconnectedness, of guilt. Paradoxically, there was also a sense of new beginnings, of a fresh start and anticipation of exciting things in the future.

My leaving seemed to precipitate the exodus of a few others as well, which, in the end, may have facilitated some positive directions for the church.

We understand that your future plans were not clear at the time of your departure. Did that create some anxiety for you and/or your family?

It is never comfortable to not have a sense of control of one’s future. However, the fact is, we are never really in control – God is. My level of peace has risen and fallen in direct proportion to my conscious commitment to what I believed concerning the sovereignty of God. Part of the reason for leaving the church was seeing the need to more faithfully learn to depend actively on God. Knowing with one’s head and believing with one’s heart are two different things.

You have been in the process of seeking God’s leading for your next ministry assignment for a while now. Can you share with us what that has been like for you?

There are at least three areas which have proven to be a challenge. 1) The concern for finances. This has been the least problematic to this point. 2) The concern that either no church may want me, or, no church available may be suitable. It has helped to remember that I am God’s servant, and He knows where He wants me to serve. 3) Perhaps the greatest challenge has been the internal struggle with introspection and a sense of failure. Part of the problem stems from the false guilt prompted by the enemy. Another part stems from real guilt prompted by the Holy Spirit. The solution in both cases has been to take it all to the cross and glory in the work of Christ on my behalf. There has been much painful but beneficial evaluation of my approach to ministry and life in the past. Much grace has been needed to deal with the sins of the past and to give hope for the future.

Do you think this in-between time is harder for you or for someone else in your family? Why?

I think it has been much harder on me for all the reasons already mentioned. I know my wife has had some struggles with our situation. But the fact that she has been working full-time during this time has helped not only financially, but has kept her mind and heart occupied in helpful ways. Our children have not expressed much concern except over the potential loss of friends. It has been difficult for us as a family for another reason. When a pastor leaves a church, not only does he leave his job, but he and his family lose their church family. With speaking in various churches from time-to-time, you begin to feel the loss of fellowship and all the benefits of the community life of a church family. The positive side of this is it helps you appreciate God’s wisdom in the church.

What kinds of things are you asking as you discern a good fit in the next ministry opportunity?

Primarily I am looking for a church that wants to glorify God and honour His word. We need to be on the same theological page, at least for those most critical issues. More specifically, I am looking for a church that needs what I feel I have to offer. I am also looking closely at the church leadership to see if there would be a good relationship there.

What (or who) has been helpful to you in these days of being “in-between”?

A lot of people praying for me, some of whom I do not know. Believing that God knows what’s going on, and that He will work everything together for my good and His glory.

Do you have any advice for anyone else who may be in your shoes?

For those contemplating leaving their church – pursue active fellowship with God through His Word and prayer. Make sure God is releasing you, and that you are not seeking to run away from whatever difficult task He may require. The church needs long pastorates. For those already ‘in-between’ – pursue active fellowship with God through His Word and prayer. Glory in God’s sovereignty. Stay close to the cross and grow.